Zuzu
It was a night, I remember. He laid his hand softly around me and said, I am here. I lost my first dog, my brother that evening. Snoopy. His death was tragic, immense blood loss. We did everything, we could. Multiple visits to the doctor all in fail. I looked back at Ravi, then my best friend, and now my husband and father of my children. I don’t know what made him say that, but I knew he will try to fill the voids, although I wasn’t looking for any.
March 1st, 2011 it was again late in the evening. Ravi has promised me a dog. We had recently seen Marley and Me and were awe struck for a Labrador. It would also have been our first birthday together after marriage and a celebration indeed was planned as 3rd March was Ravi’s birthday. We reached the pet shop. Popped out like little fur balls a few baby labs around us. I picked up one, and my phone rang. It was a weird call, asking “What happened to Mattu?(My chacha)”. I said I don’t know Meenu auntie. Panicked I call my mother, only to find out she is on her way to Raipur. Not knowing what to do, I said Ravi we need to leave.
A small baby came in between my legs. I looked at Ravi and we decided to pick him, paid the amount and rushed home. The next day morning, leaving that little lab behind, I went to drop Ravi and my mother to airport. My chacha had met a very bad accident and things were bad. I then picked my cousin from her hostel, their daughter and came back home. She another dog lover, I believe Zuzu gave her some respite to tackle this strange and difficult turn out of events. Or maybe not. She had Zuzu photos when he was a baby, and sent me on 19th Jan 2024.
Zuzu, no matter how hard I tried, he had only one master, Ravi. That is another story, he use to sleep on his head.
And keep his feet warm in winters. It was also strange to see Ravi falling in love with Zuzu, he who was so scared of dogs before him. Why Zuzu, you may want to know. I wanted to call him Simba, of course lion king connection. But Ravi found the egg cartoons of Vodafone add funny and thus Zuzu.
Our mornings were pretty much fixed, taking him for long walks. It was also around that time that neighbors around us use to object. So we had to walk him far. Eventually I stopped but Ravi and Zuzu went every morning. Sundays were where we usually found him sleeping with mumma. Mau on mumma head, and Zuzu on her feet.
Sometimes, we found both Mau and Zuzu cuddled together. Theirs's was a strange friendship. And Zuzu was a harmless dog, until we found a pigeon between is teeth, that was it!
And then Nani ji came to live with us. And she hated Zuzu. She found it amusing that we would get children sweater for Zuzu for winters. And whenever she brought out the topic for grandchildren, I told her Zuzu will take care of it, only to irk her more. I remember once I had to visit Jind, Ravi’s home town. And she didn’t let us go until we promised we will take Zuzu with us. And well that was our first and last trip together. Zuzu hated it. He refused to leave the car, I think he felt we are going to abandon him. That dog had some serious trust issues!!
Neeal was born. I was made to sleep in a separate room, to avoid Zuzu harming Neeal. He was born prematurely. Not able to sleep, I took Neeal to Zuzu, with the scene from Marley and Me playing in background. And well that was last of Zuzu sleeping in between me and Ravi on our bed. From that evening onwards, 2013 July Zuzu slept on his bed. And how many beds! I lost count the number of beds I ordered for him, made for him. He ate them ALL!!! Except the last one, where he took his last breath.
Maisha came to our lives, and she use to find Zuzu a toy. Many a times we had to save, uh huh Zuzu from her clutches! That one is a wild baby. Have you seen the movie The Good Dinosaur, you remember that wild baby, ya that one, that is Maisha.
So we have a garden, which well is visited by a few pigeons, barberets, and cats. Zuzu had his days full chasing them, and ruining whatever little vegetable garden we grew. Eventually our gardener gave up, and so did we. Once a while we will come back home to a swollen Zuzu. Well he ate the bee so what do you expect!
Lohri, 13th Jan 2024 when Zuzu decided he had have enough of people. He refused to get up. A visit to the vet, we came to know his arthiritis is bad. A full thirteen years old, he was given an injection, and had to now visit weekly. That another week for his injection never came.
It was a busy day, full of meetings back and forth-18th Jan 2024. Zuzu was not well. He refused food, and was not moving. Except barking randomly. And when I use to come near him, he use to stop. Ravi took him to the doctor, who gave him normal saline. And I made a promise to myself, that tomorrow no meetings, I will take him to the vet. I didn’t knew then we will go another way.
I combed him, applied his dry shampoo, ordered stuff from Amazon. Another leash, another brush, another bed, only to cancel them all the next day. I prepared his bed, brought out some more blankets. He came and drank lots of water. I don’t know why I did but I put some gangajal. For the last few days I have been promising God I will visit Shirdi, I believe he is the only saint in India with a dog. But that night I prayed I will visit, just let Zuzu come to you.
I woke up around 5, went to where Zuzu was sleeping with Ravi only to find a candle burning near his head and him shrouded. I asked Ravi why have you burnt a candle near him, only to be told he died last night. I regretted taking my sleeping pills that day.
19th Jan 2024, we cremated you Zuzu. I told you I will take you to the doctor. The good doctor Dr Pathak called us last evening seeing Zuzu blood reports. His sugar only 26, and reports showing kidney and liver failure. He urged us to give him something sweet immediately. And that small piece of rasgulla was his last meal.
Zuzu, we took your ashes then, you see now I am talking to you. The pandit did ask, kaun tha- i said beta. You were my eldest Zuzu. When we came back home that day after cremating you, we watched Marley and Me. Neeal cried for three days straight, I yet to shed my all tears. I keep looking at the empty corner of my room Zuzu where you use to sleep.
I loved you Zuzu, we all did with all our hearts. I know you did too, unconditionally. That void I don’t wish it to be filled Zuzu. Let it be.
Stay well wherever you are my baby, until we meet again.
Heal…
Didn’t knew that after months.. of not writing, the first one i will write be about Zuzu. This one is personal, from the diary. For you Zuzu. The medications I take make me forget things, I would like to remember, all things about you. And this is where I will go, when I miss you time and again.
