International Women Day
So I was travelling to Delhi the other day. And I passed on a car all decked up as a bride as it was taking one. The scene in the car, is etched in my mind. Have seen it, and even been it. A newly wed bride was crying unconsolably sitting behind, hiding her face. Her groom sitting awkwardly, and the ones driving were laughing over some jokes I believe they were sharing. I kept watching her, knowing well she will be fine. She will learn to leave behind the world she has known, and accept and make this new world as hers. She won’t anymore wake up in her bedroom, or see her friends every day, or even her parents.
I also happened to be a similar bride, but my ordeal lasted a few days, of the custom we have to follow in India, in Punjab, Delhi, Haryana belt. For I was adamant I will continue living with my parents and the one who marries me will have to adjust. Was I a lucky girl some will say. I don’t know for sure that, but i do know I was adamant about it. My husband job is near to where we live, so was this a practical decision, well you can put as many angles you want to put here. But what did it change in our society, nothing.
I use my maiden name as in Pallavi Sharma. I didn’t change it after marriage. But I have read news that women need NOC from husband to use their maiden name-https://scroll.in/article/1064571/why-do-indian-women-still-need-their-husbands-assent-to-use-their-maiden-name. Coming back to using my maiden name. Yesterday my daughter won an award in school. We got a letter where it was written — Mr and Mrs Singroha, my blood boiled a few degrees, and I felt like writing them back saying that we are Mr Singroha and Ms Sharma, but then I am tired of these battles, but I will for sure tell them my dissent and disagreement on their comfort. A name you are given, which you have used in school, in college, in your first job, doesn’t have to change because you married prince charming.
What changed for women of India? Its 2024, has the rapes stopped no. Are their voices muted yes, to large degree the women in India work, act as caretaker to their households, their husband parents, their children, maybe their parents and if they get sometime from all this themselves. This is not my story, this may not be the story of you, the one reading, or your better halves, but i believe you cannot deny that this indeed is a story of many women you and I may both know of. Please if you are in India, and you wish to celebrate this day — a great choice would be to watch Lapata Ladies. You will understand a lot of things i want to write in here, and when served with sense of humor and satire it will be enjoyable too.
Celebrating this day is important. It is important to understand the stereotyping women face, gender bias, unequal pay, no policy on parental leave, and the list is huge. The sad part to this is, this is not a story of a women in India. This is true world wide. Just google gender pay disparity you will find articles, graphs, discussions, reports, consume any you want.
There are series of articles I have written on what I feel about today, here they are-
Is there hope, yes, are changes there, yes. It wasn’t until recently women were not allowed to vote. Rather it may come as a suprise to you but I learnt this in the publishing course I did, that women were not even allowed to read for leisure. Can you imagine living in this world. Of course you can. We in 2024 have an entire nation who doesn’t allow women basic right to education-https://www.theguardian.com/global-development/2023/nov/29/taliban-could-be-convinced-to-open-girls-schools-says-afghanistan-ex-education-minister
If you are a woman reading this, be aware that what you to, decide, act on sets example of an entire generation which include your sons and daughters to follow. If you are a man reading this article remember you can help. And if you are a third gender reading this, I know you will help. Because the one who faces the most discrimination is the one who most understands the need to change.
Discriminating people on the basis of something they are born with is the most criminal act one can do. I didn’t chose to be an XX chromosome. I was born with it. Discriminating me based on this doesn’t tell about me, it shows what you are made of. I don’t need a Loreal add to tell me I am worth it. I know I am worth a lot of people and things, the question now I hope my women will ask — Are you worthy enough for me?
That’s all, I can fill pages and pages on this… but I hope someday some year I will not. Until then Happy International Women day folks! You were born because a woman someday somewhere chose that you will arrive in this world. So well here it is, if you are looking for a reason still. So strive to make this world equal for her, we are not even asking better. Just equal.
